Day 208
I used to tell my children we were “rich”. This was my attempt at a life lesson to my young kids. They are loved by an extended and quite boisterous group of aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins. It is practically a sitcom worthy group.
We have access to healthcare, clean water, flushing toilets and more calories than we really need to consume in any given day. I’d say by most of the world’s standards—that’s rich.
So that is what I told them.
But, I had to stop using that term when I realized my youngest who was five at the time, was telling anyone who would listen, “My mom says we are rich.” She wasn’t explaining the figurative aspect to that statement and was extending this information to her classroom, the man who cut our yard, random cashiers, her soccer team and her friend’s parents.
That Kid
I tried to explain to her—again–but apparently in Kindergarten they hadn’t gotten to the lesson on the subtleties of language yet. So rather than risk embarrassment—or robbery, I just gave it up.
Well a couple of years have passed and discussions about money are suddenly present again, in part, due to The Simple Year. The youngest, spent the first half of the year telling people we “didn’t buy anything because daddy left.” After I set her straight on that point, she amended it to “we aren’t spending any money.”
That is not exactly right, we still spend quite a bit of money on food and other consumables, experiences like movies, the theatre and travel.
Whatever
My point? Money is necessary, important and seems to pervade much of our lives. I mean you would hate to have to carry your live chickens in your wallet to trade for the coffee beans your neighbor was hauling around in her purse.
So it is not surprising with The Simple Year that the assumption is that it’s all about the money. For example, here is an all too typical conversation I might have with someone:
Me: Oh thanks, but we only buy things used
Them: Oh, well it’s ONLY _______ (insert appropriate small price). That’s the same as buying it used.
Me: Oh, well it’s not about the money, we are trying a project for a year in which we don’t buy anything new.
Them: Even food? (common question, although I’m not sure what my other options would be, I guess grow my own?)
Me: No, I still buy consumables
Them: Blank Stare….long pause…Yeah, I couldn’t do that
Me: Oh….OK
Although it has never been primarily about money, certainly a nice byproduct of The Simple Year is the savings. Some individual things are definitely more expensive, but overall we aren’t spending as much. I won’t bore you with a detailed ledger you will just have to trust me on this. I’m also not saying our experience is necessarily typical. The military has been a steady employer during this down economy, and I suspect we are not living as close to the line as some. But, for us, those little one and two dollar items (think magazines, paper napkins, ChapStick at the checkout stand and zip lock bags) have added up.
The plan is to save the money for a trip or some other fun -and rich- family experience.
I have the same issue when explaining that we’re minimalists. (Or budding minimalists, but you have to start somewhere.) People think if something is cheap, you should want it / buy it. Consumerism is sort of interesting when you stop to look at it.
Loved the story about the kids and how they explain what you’re doing. Thanks for the laugh.
Yes, I have had the same experience with the whole “cheap” thing. My neighbor saves coupons for me..
LOL. Well, buying cheap food is the same as buying it used… 😉
Zip lock bags don’t count as consumables? They totally should. 🙂
You think? Maybe…that would certainly make things easier…
If anyone has a good reusable solution for zip lock bags. I’d love to hear it! We use them very sparingly (about 1 box a year), but I still feel bad for every one that I do use. Biggest use is for things like pita bread or tortillas that I buy and then need to put in the fridge. They need to be in an airtight container or they go stale. and frozen veggies & berries. In Austria they come in these silly cardboard boxes that cause freezer burn so I end up putting the box in a zip lock and reusing the zip lock many times.
Nicole- I haven’t tried these but Denise (who pops in occasionally) commented on an earlier post that she loves Reusies. http://www.reuseit.com/ I, of course, haven’t bought any, but the concept seems good. They look like they are made out a fabric my grandmother calls oilcloth. Perhaps if you were handy you could make your own larger one that fits bread items?
I’ve found that mainstream people are the hardest on us. In living more intentionally, we have actually ended up making some purchases. For example, I made a list of everything that I wanted included in my minimal wardrobe. I purged things that were not on the list, but I had to buy (used) some pieces that I did not already have. Someone at work actually laughed at me and said, “It’s funny that you say you’re trying to minimalize, but you keep buying things!”
Yeah, people don’t really get that it’s not about the money/stuff.
I loved the stories about your kids! Really cute.
I totally understand your feeling of frustration but it can sometimes work out for the best in the end:
When my husband and I were looking for wedding rings, I decided to do some research on blood diamonds so that I would know what to watch out for when we bought the rings-what labels, certificates, origins, etc.. One bit of research led to another and….I decided to skip the diamond altogether and we decided we absolutely wanted recycled gold. After seeing so many U.S. websites offering recycled gold jewelry. I thought it would easy to find a place in Austria. I was wrong! When I’d ask shops if they had this, the usual response was “we do/don’t offer discounts.” We even started asking actual goldsmiths not just jewelry shops. One woman told us where we could sell my old jewelry so that we could use the money to buy the rings in her shop window. One guy got, but he patted me on the shoulder and asked why a girl like me would worry my–I’m not kidding–pretty head about things like that because all modern mining companies now respect the environment and human rights. I marched my pretty head right out of there.
In the end we ordered them online (yes, I know as everyone told us a million times. It was a crazy thing to do.) from an artist in NYC and my parents brought the rings over with them for the wedding. The rings are beautiful! And I have more fun telling people about the crazy comments I got looking for recycled gold. Including the one from a friend, “so you mean you’re wearing someone’s teeth fillings?”
The stories you tell about your children make me laugh and also reminded me that kids truly don’t understand everything said to them. As much as we try as parents and grandparents to instill the values of our family, many times a child’s understanding is framed in the context of the greater society. But what I do know is that one day they will understand what is being lived and will be grateful for values that give substance to their lives.
Oh gosh, this is definitely my experience so far. People have been offering us a variety of ways to get things cheaper or “cheat the system”, as though someone else has imposed these terrible ‘rules’ on us. I can’t seem to get the point across to some people that it’s not just about the money – it’s primarily about the environment to us. I wish people were willing to think a little more deeply sometimes.