Subtitle: Christmas is so not simple.
Dear Santa,
We’re over. Maybe not this year, but your days are numbered. In the meantime I want to thank you for all the joy you’ve given my child over the past several Christmases. Emma has really embraced the holiday spirit- she loves to get presents but more importantly, she loves to give them too. So our relationship hasn’t been a waste. You’ve helped me teach Emma about magic and imagination, two things I hope she continues celebrate after the myth is revealed.
But your continued presence makes my life complicated at a time when I’m striving for simplicity, especially on this holiday which has sadly become more about excess, shopping on Thanksgiving and plowing people down to get a cheap t.v. Here are the ways you’ve made my life difficult:
- I can’t just wrap presents. I have to use different wrapping paper because if Emma sees that my gifts to Bob have the same wrapping paper as her gifts from Santa, she’ll get suspicious. And this is NOT me over-thinking. I would never have thought of this but more than one mom friend has told me about “Santa paper.”
- Ditto for gift tags. I have very cute tags, which I use on my gifts to everyone except Emma. Her tags are different because I don’t want her to figure out my handwriting, and she would. Because of my computer issues, I wasn’t able to get them printed until today, so her things are wrapped but not tagged.
- Shopping online should be a solution, but it’s not without challenges. Our mail comes late in the day which means it arrives either as I’m getting Emma from the bus, or after we get home. Last year it was hard to dodge suspicion when we’d arrive to a package from Amazon sitting in front of the door. My mom doesn’t live close enough to have things shipped there. This year I had my one big order shipped to work, which helped, but it was still a hassle because it arrived in three parts. I also got emails because they were trying to deliver on the weekends even though I specified it was an office.
- Hiding those gifts gets harder and harder. There was a time when Emma refused to open the door leading to the garage, which made it a great place to stash gifts. She was smart to be leery of it because it’s a huge mess! But she got brave over the summer so I lost my good hiding spot, which means I’ve been moving stuff every few days and I know there will be at least one thing I forget and find in August.
- Not only am I lying, I need to keep track of my lies. And make sure they are consistent with the lies being told by Bob and other parents. For example, every year Emma wants to know why we donate toys to a local community program if Santa visits all children. I’ve told her that the items she gets from Santa are not free, which also helps explain why she can’t have every single thing on her list. But she has compared notes with her friends, and Bob and I did not get our stories straight. Ultimately I confessed that I just don’t know a lot about Santa. If I’d wanted to deal in clandestine operations, I would have joined the CIA.
In conclusion, Santa, I don’t even care how the truth comes out, though I know those feelings will change when I feel less fed up. I don’t have it in me to share heartwarming letters about how you live in all of us, blah, blah, blah. If I have to lay it out bluntly, I will, and appreciate how easy it is to find a therapist these days.
There was a time when I thought I’d miss the idea of you. But I’m over it.
Thanks again!
Grinch Mom
***
In other news, my computer seems to be working, for now, but on Friday it kept freezing on me. I’m taking advantage of the moments when it’s working to move things to the cloud and a flash drive. Mentally I’m in a weird place because I feel like I’ve gotten nothing done despite being very busy, but most of the items on my list have been checked off. Over the weekend I tackled some small decluttering projects which I’ll share on Wednesday. I’ve been ignoring many of the secondary storage spaces in the house- drawers, smaller cabinets, etc, thinking that I needed to get rid of stuff from throughout the house first. But now I think that purging those spaces will free up needed room for things I need to keep. Even though I’m pleased with how I scaled back gift-giving for Emma, I otherwise kind of want the holidays to be over. Right now I’m thinking ahead to the week after Christmas, when I’m off from work. We’re going to take one day to work as much in the garage as we can, and I’m going to spend the rest of the time in my pajamas, reading.
I’ve never had the hassles you are having now, because my husband and I made the decision, long before we ever conceived our daughter, that we were never going to tell her santa was real from day one. My husband, myself, and our daughter are all Christians, and I didn’t want for her to finally realize santa didn’t exist (we have told her about Saint Nicholas), and then have her start to doubt Christ’s existence. As in, my mommy and daddy made santa up, so what else did they make up. Actually, when I have told a couple of people that she has never believed in santa, they gave me the most horrible look, and very delicately, asked if we at least give gifts, lol! I said yes, we give gifts! We’re not mean, we just have not taught our daughter santa exists. Heck, even my MIL thought I was a horrible parent for it, lol! But guess who doesn’t have to be careful with the wrapping paper and gift tags, lol?! I feel for you girl!
My mother told me that when I was little I noticed that Santa used the same wrapping paper as she did. She said that Santa must have run out of paper and used what she had leftover. Lol.
My santa only gave us each one gift (usually ‘big ticket’) and didn’t wrap them. One year, they were put in the pillow cases we left at the end of the bed, but that non-tradition didn’t last.
Giving away toys – who’d have thought that’d implicate you in Santa dramas!
I resonate with Sue’s comment. My children are now 28 and 26, 1 married and 1 engaged. They knew from the get go that Santa was imaginary but a feel good part of the season. We gave our children gifts and they always participated in delivering Christmas hampers and serving food from a charity kitchen. We no longer exchange Christmas gifts with each other, we all have so much and are content to give our time to others that don’t have much and enjoy the day together.
In our family the stocking on the end of their beds are from Father Christmas, all other gifts are from us, friends and family. I wanted them to know who they should be thankful to for any gifts they receive. I would not have gone with the myth but my husband wanted them to have their bit of magic while they are little. It went against the grain last year when every one was telling them to look out on Christmas Eve last year to see Santa’s Sleigh going over – it was the International Space station clear enough to be seen by eye. They would have been much more impressed if they had known it was the Space Station!
My four leave a Santa sack at the end of the bed and it gets filled up with the presents from Santa while they are asleep, no wrapping, no gift tags! Even now they are older we still do the sacks but I don’t have to go out of my way to hide the presents so much, I just put them in my cupboard and if they snoop that is not my problem but the youngest is almost 12 now so it is so much easier!
Too late for you now, but with my 4 kids, Santa presents were never wrapped. Just one main gift each from Santa plus stockings. Always told the kids they had to “believe to receive” therefore we never had a “is Santa real?” conversation. Hid Santa gifts in a large Rubbermaid tote piled with other boxes on top. Christmas is a time for secret gifts so explaining deliveries and other boxes shouldn’t be an issue 🙂