Day 282
While unloading the dishwasher, my oldest, Kayla said, “How did we get so many plates?”
I said, “Well because….uh….”
How DID we get so many plates? When we moved here 10 months ago, we only had six.
Well the answer is simple; clearly they are multiplying in the cabinet. This is not my fault, that’s what happens when you mix slightly trashy plastic floral numbers with aging Italian Rustico. They can’t help themselves.
On second thought, two people gave us Christmas cookies on non-disposable plates…oh, I bought a hardly-been-used 16-piece place setting of the aforementioned plastic outdoor dishes for $4 at a garage sale, I intended to give away as a gift. Then we had visitors for dinner and used them and now they’ve been assimilated into our standard rotation.
My point?
In spite of my best efforts, additional stuff still creeps into our house. Most of it comes via gifts which are acceptable under our Simple Year rules, and a legion of Chinese plastic toys and logoed merchandise that is gifted to us at every event we attend.
Prior to The Simple Year, I never realized the QUANTITY of little plastic thingamajigs that pervade our life. But under my heightened awareness, I have a new appreciation for the magnitude of useless paraphernalia that passes through our doors even though we are not BUYING it. Every trip to a festival, birthday party, or even school parties net them a bagful of things like leering animal finger puppets, tiny squashy looking rubber ducks, hand shaped clappers, assorted plastic bracelets and at least a billion stickers and “tattoos”.
The Prize Box
So, I know these “prizes” are given with good intent. However, I’m pretty sure I’m not the only parent that under the cover of night, sends all that stuff on a one-way vacation to the landfill for the next 320 years. Then I feel guilty, not only about the added trash, but that if the kids remember they have a missing paper fan and a flip flop necklace I have to play dumb. Some call it lying by omission; I prefer to think of it as selective recall.
So those of you with no children or very small children are probably wondering why I don’t just say, “No Thanks.”
Well, because I don’t want to be THAT mom. I want to be Boss mom with a capitol B, not bossy mom shrieking, NO, NO, NO, in front of all their friends and generally causing a ruckus making everyone, kid and prize giver alike, uncomfortable.
Although, I recognize that sometimes as a parent, you have to make the hard decisions. So I have even sought out a couple of green parenting blogs looking for some good advice about the issue and I noticed they tend to get a bit radical and fist waving about this topic and generally advocate complete abstinence and encourage parents to inform the giver of said item, “thanks, but no thanks, to your toxic attempt to introduce plastic into our BPA absent, clutter free, zero impact lives.” Well, maybe not those exact words, but you get the point.
The truth is I’m trying to straddle some middle line as well as teach my children some basic manners about giving and getting gifts. On principle, I find it a little rude to REFUSE to take the goody bag on some moral high ground (although if we “accidentally” forget to take it, that’s OK, but my kids have good recall when it comes to this sort of thing). At a recent birthday party my oldest attended, the party favors were classic books like Little Women. I almost wept with gratitude.
But, I also didn’t make a scene when the kids recently “won” eleven trips to the prize box EACH at a pool party at our health club—even though I really wanted to.
Little vignette I found on the side of the bathtub tonight. I think they are discussing all the mysterious disappearances of their comrades.
Oh boy, striking a balance is tough, when parenting counter-culturally, isn’t it? This is something I struggle with too. Luckily, most of our friends Don’t Have a Lot of Stuff, so nobody does goody bags. But it still adds up–stocking stuffers, prizes, and the like. I have been known to pack away and re-use stuffers…but usually they end up at Goodwill. Which makes me feel bad, because they will just clutter someone else’s house. Or end up at the landfill anyway.
And I agree that being hard-nosed about it isn’t the answer. If we want to help inspire other people to live more intentionally, then we absolutely have to be non-judgemental. Leading by example is the way to go. But I’m not even sure how to do that, where prizes and goody bags are concerned.
Bethany- not to freak you out or anything, but it only gets harder. At some point, as the kids grow they have more “Situational Awareness” and realize that the nice man from the Mortgage booth at the Balloon festival is offering them a beach ball or frisbee instead of you just shuffling them past. Plus their friends aren’t alway your friends kids anymore, so their families often have rules different from ours and our friends
Exactly where we’re at lately, trying not to be Fanatical cause that never works – at the same time trying to cut down on SO Much of what is just not necessary.
I keep a box just for all these little trinkets and then we give them out at Halloween, the kids are always so excited to get something other than candy.
That is a good idea.
oh my gosh. I DIDN’T do prize bags at birthday parties and my best friend threw a hissy fit because her kids love them so much. (they didn’t seem bothered by not getting them at our party, btw).
I hate that stuff too and I throw it away the next day too. But you’re right, what can you say? I don’t get why other parents continue to buy this crap because I think the majority of us would rather not have the clutter . . .
That’s odd about the prize bag “fit”, most parents I know would have been dancing for joy that you didn’t give prize bags away. Keep on not giving out the clutter…
Please feel free to mail any unwanted prizes to PO BOX 201, Wagoner, OK 74477. My hard-working speech students would be greatful for the addition to our (somewhat lacking…) treasure box in my classroom. 😉
I like Jamie’s suggestion a lot. We have done re-gifting with extended family for several years at Christmas and everyone seems to enjoy it.
I wonder if your daughter would get into re-gifting some of this stuff. Maybe keeping a re-gifting box. Lining toys up from most like to least and re-gifting the later. Of course, kids being as ruthlessly honest as they are, you might have to rehearse something like “I keep a box of toys I give for loan or keeps. Would you like to check it out?”
Great post.
Nick
That is actually a great idea because both of them really like giving their friends things.
When my boys were little they were each alotted one shoe box sized bin for there little stuff. I didn’t care what they kept, but it had to be contained in the bin, so if they got new stuff, other items had to go. The other thing I did was I took the extra stuff, as well as donations from other Moms and I made up little bags of items. These I took to a Center that provided food and clothing to homeless or struggling families. The bags were put in a treasure box and the kids were allowed to take a bag when visiting. Since alot of these kids had never been to a Birthday party or a place that gives out prizes, they were so excited to get a little bag of treasures.
also a very good idea, spread the prizes around…in any case, I’ll stop throwing all that stuff away and start saving them for one of these good ideas listed here 🙂
I always joke that I want to send Beanie to kindergarten with a list of approved friends…but it would be wonderful if we actually could do that, wouldn’t it? 😉
When did goodie bags become the thing to do? That’s my question! Although I hate all the little junk and try to avoid it as much as possible, it never fails. For both kids I try and do something that at least I know the children/parents could use….pads of paper, markers, sidewalk chalk, bubbles, etc. Although probably unnecessary it almost feels like children and parents are upset when a goodie bag isn’t presented. Crazy! Funny how things change so much, I never got a goodie bag at Birthday parties when I was a kid!
I love the plastic people talking beside the bath…. and especially the idea that they miss their mates! I blame Toy Story (1,2 and 3) for making me guilty about throwing ANY toy away…. and the only film that rescued me from That problem was Labyrinth!