I’ve got the Blues

Fun fact: I’m not really a fan of the Blues. I was a teenager in the mid- to late-1980s, so it’s alternative music that is close to my heart. (Why yes, I did listen to a lot of Depeche Mode! I had all of their cassettes. Still do actually because I don’t know how to properly dispose of them.) But it’s the Blues I’m singing tonight (Tuesday) as I try to write this post. You guys, my heart just isn’t in it. We’re coming off a hellacious 72-hours that were Saturday morning through Monday night, and looking forward to the rest of the week, it’s not going to get much better. I’m feeling defeated and stressed and sad and just … I don’t even know.

Image courtesy of @nourishedplanner.

Monday was our dear friend’s memorial service, held late that afternoon in Eugene. Eric and the girls and I started the day with breakfast out (which we never do — I forgot to grab a container for leftovers, but happened to have an extra quart jar in the back of the car. Crisis averted!), and I was pleased to see real plates and settings and mugs and glasses. There were plastic one-use creamer containers, but I asked the waitress if I could have milk for my coffee instead (sometimes having a major food sensitivity really works in your favor), so hey, one less thing on my conscience. Oh, and I took coffee to go in my travel mug. And then had Eric stop on the road to refresh that cup. (I need a minimum of 48 ounces a day, I’m not even joking.)

So because breakfast was so huge, we knew we wouldn’t need to eat lunch on the road. We had Johanna pack herself some snacks, though, because that kid is growing and therefore needs constant fuel. (She’s 12 … and 5’6″. Um, for now.) She used Abby’s lunch container (it’s the biggest one, plus everything else was in the dishwasher, oops) and her own lunchbox, and that part worked out beautifully. We got to Eugene a couple of hours early and had a few stops to cross off the list. First up: Grabbing a couple of bookstore gift certificates. I was pleased to be able to find smaller plastic cards — less than half the size of a regular gift card, although truthfully my estimation skills are lacking. Two cards for the waste of one! Still terrible, not not as terrible. (I know, I know — we could have just given cash. Didn’t want to. Was attempting to purposely distract two grieving boys.)

Next: We found a Store That Must Not Be Named, and oh man, it was a super store, which was just horrifying on all sorts of levels. Johanna pulled out a list of art supplies she wanted (bad), Eric wanted some cereal (sort of okay), and I needed a new jug of white vinegar for cleaning (also sort of okay). By that time, it was 3 p.m., and the effects of our big breakfast were starting to wear off. So we started looking around at snack options, and Eric was like, it’s all middle aisle here, which made me laugh. We are not big middle aisle shoppers on a regular day, but this was not a regular day. I went with a paper package of crackers — still lined, but it was the best I could do — and kicked myself for not making a new batch of Mom’s Weird Granola Bar for the road the night before so we could have avoided that step all together. Even though there wasn’t time to do it. Why didn’t I just make time?

The girls and I then hit Goodwill while Eric went to gas up the car, and we had perhaps a little too much fun. Johanna was looking for mini figures to refigure (um … something about painting, I think?), and although we found about 25 naked Barbies, those did not meet her artistic needs. Then we just walked up and down the aisles. I found a horrible green Tupperware container that I was THIS CLOSE to buying, but in the end I put it back — it would be great for the meat counter, but it would just be something else I’d have to store. Plus I have a container that works well enough already, even if the lid doesn’t go on very easily.

Minimalism in action, I suppose.

That’s when I spied my beloved Market of Choice and realized that I hadn’t thought to bring any jars with us on this trip. Well, I was a bit distracted, obviously. We didn’t even go in.

By now it was 4 p.m., and the service was slated to begin at 4:30. So … we made our way and sat there and cried and tried to just be grateful that we were introduced to that beautiful soul in the first place.

Oh, geez, and then we had a quick dinner at McDonald’s. I guess the good news there is that the wrappers are all paper. Still terrible. And I got a pop. (Um, soda in the rest of the world, I guess. That’s just west coast lingo.) I make dumb choices when I’m stressed. We won’t talk about how much I enjoyed the fries.

Yadda yadda yadda, we got home at 10 p.m. And then I couldn’t sleep. Which probably has something to do with how deflated I feel right now. It doesn’t help that none of my usual meal plan routine happened this weekend (Abby had a competitive scholarship event one day and Johanna had a two-day basketball tournament, both out of town, followed by the service the next day) so I feel very behind, the house is a wreck and the laundry is mostly undone.

Um, so that’s where I’m at right now.

Next up: I’m going to get a good night’s sleep and rebound by Friday. I’ve got homemade mustard on my list — so keep your fingers crossed for me.