Day 333
We all have good and bad in us. Anyone that has ever watched cartoons knows that there is a little devil sitting on our left shoulder telling us to eat potato chips and drink sugary soda and an angel on our right instructing us to not snap at the sales clerk that seems to need some remedial math classes.
My angel always acts appropriately and, in my mind, looks a lot like me…only prettier and sort of glittery like those Victoria’s Secret angels except my angel looks like she’s eaten in the last six weeks. Then there is her counterpart, the sharp tonged devilish me on the left side that resembles Pink—the rock star, not the color. I’m not sure why, I’m sure she is a very nice person. But in my mind she is my evil alter ego, even though I can’t sing.
It is the angel me that doesn’t shout at my kids, even though they are behaving atrociously. But, she is often assaulted by my pink side and I find myself screeching. “Don’t make me tell you to put your dishes in the dishwasher again…” Fortunately, no one has ever said, “What? What will you do if you have to tell me to put my dishes in the dishwasher again?” Because I haven’t worked out an answer yet.
Anyway, my angel and devil had a pretty significant thumb wrestling match this week and it all had to do with a school book fair. We weren’t going to buy anything this year, so I was dutifully throwing the fliers about the event in the recycling bin. Then my kids each came home with one of these.
There were eight additional selections on the other side.
What you see is a “Wish List”. Apparently, each class takes time out of the school day and marches down to the book fair and the kids “shop around” and list the items they would like their parents to buy.
Here is my inner struggle that ensued:
Pink Me: (all uppity here) Can you believe that? Schools are supposed to be free of marketing. But, here they are taking educational time to sell stuff to CHILDREN.
Angel Me: Schools are always underfunded and this is an opportunity to raise some cash.
Pink Me: Yes, they are, and I am all for them selling books to willing and able adults. I object to them using school time to try to manipulate children into WANTING things they didn’t know existed.
Angel Me: Well, at least it something worthwhile like books. I mean it’s not like they are selling them cigarettes and Ho Hos.
Pink Me: While most of the stuff is books, they also sell other things like make up kits and erasures shaped like iPhones. Kelsey made a list of five items, three of which weren’t books at all. How exactly does that contribute to education?
Angel Me: Uhm, the proceeds go to the library…which in turn give the kids access to more books…which in turn enhances their education?
Pink Me: (level of indignation rising) Plus, it is one thing to send a wish list home to people with some disposable income, but what about the kids whose families can’t afford extras? Is that fair to get their child “wishing” for something they can’t have?
Angel Me: Well, kids are inundated with marketing messages every day of their lives; at least this is for a good cause…
Pink Me: Yeah, but does it have to be at school?
As you can see, I am conflicted. I understand a need for additional funding, I question this method. The angel me is keeping me from marching into the principal’s office and going all ranty. But pink me really wants to take a stand.
Could not agree with you more. I had the same battle at my house this week. As if it wasn’t hard enough to explain why we can’t get books every month with the traditional flyers that come home, we have to look our child in the eye and tell them they can’t have another book based on a TV show or a pencil that smells like strawberries (sort of) that they have wanted their whole lives, or at least since earlier in the day. I ease my guilt by allowing it once or twice a year and usually I make my daughter use some of her own allowance to cover the cost.
Cracking up about the “sort of” strawberry comment. Because I know exactly what you mean. The same for that fake watermelon and fake grape smell.
As someone who as a child spent ALL her 40% silver, silver dollars on books because my parents never bought them, not ever, it breaks my heart to see Kelsey’s list! (and as you well know, I am now a compulsive shopper….though I don’t know if it’s a result of just genetics, or because I always coveted, never had, as a child). You can march in and take a stand, but they’ve been doing this for over 40 years, it may make you feel better, but they will just think you’re nutty 😀
The ship might have already sailed on them thinking I’m nutty
Totally agree with pink you!
Preach it sister. I’m the PTA president (cue eye roll and groan) at my kid’s school and I detest the schools role is making more mini consumers. So frustrating. It’s my #2 pet peeve- #1 is the incessant junk food rewards and options available for purchase a la cart in the cafeteria.
Our PTA did a used book sale which was fantastic. They gathered used books from the community and then sold them cheaply. Totally a win win.
I completely understand the sense of frustration and the internal argument. I am the PTA treasurer at my elementary school, and at our school, the PTA is not directly involved in the book fair other than as a liaison. Meaning, we make no money off of it, we do not donate the money to the library, but we may assist with helping recruit volunteers for the event. Scholastic dictates how the event is marketed. Since we are in the same district, I can tell you that we certainly do not expect parents to give at each event. I, for one, don’t really like the events where kids are expected to sell cookie dough and wrapping paper. Yet, our school made a ton of money off of that event this year. People seemed to want to get stuff. Maybe it is the economy. I prefer to give money to events where I know 100% of money is going to the school. In the last couple of years, our PTA gave enough money back to the school to provide ipads and wall mounted projectors to most of the classrooms, along with funding math curriculum, phonic ears, cool science, etc. The money is a big deal in this day and age. This is critical technology, not just social events, though those are nice, too.
I suggest a couple of things…if you are unsure, ask the PTA president or treasurer if you have one of those type of events and give the majority of your money at that time (we do a reading Olympics and a running event). You can also most likely just make a cash donation to the PTA at the beginning of the year and be done with it. PTAs do not advertise this, but they can and will often take a flat donation. Of course, your kids may feel left out if they are not contributing at each event. As treasurer, I know I do not participate in each event, but I pick the ones I like and am able to attend and give to those. This also teaches kids about prioritizing where your money goes. I have taught my kids that since we do not reread a lot of fiction, we do not need to buy a lot of fiction books. But, I will buy one or two at the book fair to support the library. I know that doesn’t help you in your current project. I wonder if it is possible to make a small contribution directly to the library? I have no idea.
I am a teacher. I HATE the book fair, mainly because of all the non-book “stuff” (in my mind I have another term for it). In my school we come up with the funds for every kid to buy at least a small something, but the whole thing feels wrong, wrong, wrong to me.
I hate the wish list more than anything, I think it is a complete guilt trip for parents. The book fair only started a few years ago at our school (in Australia) and I was mortified at the price of all the items on the wish lists, It was not great telling my kids that I wouldn’t be able to afford most of what was on the list, Also the prices were double what I could have bought the books for at our local Big W store. Needless to say all the newly purchased pencils and erasers were lost within a few days too!
Completely with your Pink angel. By having the kids shop together (ourtrageous it is during learning time) this marketing feeds into early version of keeping-up-with-the-Jones trip. All the kids are comparing what they got and making socialization decisions on who is cool or not. Many either cannot afford these items or are teaching less waste/trash values and purchase used. Many of us have already donated to our schools with money, purchased schoolroom supplies and/or our time. This type of marketing feeds into the prevelent American attitude of always getting something back for any effort we put in. How about donating money and time just because it is a good thing without seeking credit or crappy stuff in exchange? As an aside, consider that your analogy of the sexy cute (albeit more flesh) Victoria’s Secret angel as the good angel and Pink, the strong kickass female muscian as the bad angel is influenced by exactly the same marketing techinques we are discussing in relation to the book fair. VS angels exemplify: be sexy, be sweet, accept this impossible to maintain body as the norm and don’t rock the boat by pointing out that we cannot as a whole meet that expectation. Alternately, Pink angel says be strong, use your muscles, shout out your independence from the accepted norm and DON’T BE A SHEEP. However, kids at book fair age don’t yet possess the social skills necessary to effectively advocate for themselves. Le’t do it for them and boycott bookfairs at school in favor of direct !00% money donations or organize a used book fair (only books) with all proceeds going to school programs. At the end of the sale anything left would be up for grabs or donated to local shelters.
Excellent assessment, I actually never thought about half of the things you mentioned, but YOU ARE RIGHT! Also, did I mention that at the beginning of the year, they did do a “cash only” drive in lieu of other fundraisers at our school and I dutifully wrote a $100 check which is like the equivalent (in funds to the school ) of like 30 books and 20 tins of cookie dough? Drats…
Another teacher here-I hate that the book fair builds unfulfilled expectations and disappointment for many students whose parents are unable or choose not to buy. Devil’s advocate: the “wish list” can be used as a writing exercise and a math exercise (depending on grade-level). Using the price list can be a way for teachers/parents to talk about wants, needs, and budget if the family does choose to provide some funds.
I was part of the fund raising team but while I help with chocolate choices I was charge of the Scrip program. We bought gift certificates at a discount and sold them for face value. Every grocery store in our area was available as well as book stores, fast food, movies, etc. It bugged me that a parent would rather purchase the cookie dough than pick up some certificates before going to the grocery store.
So glad my kids aren’t in school anymore. I’m going to try to remember not to buy stuff like this when I have grandkids.
I can’t believe I am reading this today. Today yesterday, and tomorrow are the book fair at our school and our kids visit it EVERY DAY. I am not sending money to school with a 5 and 6 year old to shop with. They also schedule parent teacher conferences DURING the book fair so that you can shop with your children then. We don’t buy books, we use the library and the books we keep at home were gifts. We do each year buy one of the books off each of our children’s classroom wish lists and write a donation check for the library. I just wish they wouldn’t cart the little kids in every day to look at the things we aren’t going to buy.