This post is by Kerry.

“If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”, was the catch phrase of my childhood crush, Cowboy Bob, singing host of Cowboy Bob’s Corral on Channel 4. He closed every show with those words of wisdom and I would challenge you to find a kid that grew up in 1970’s Indiana who can utter that phrase without affecting a fake cowboy twang.

Cowboy Bob and his puppet, Sourdough the Singing Biscuit were quite the visionary thinkers in my mind.  Sometimes being nice isn’t so much about what you do or say, as what you DON’T do or say.

Isn’t he dreamy? Photo from his OFFICIAL website. Squeeeeeeee

Case in point, I’ve said many nice things to many people in front of my 11-year old.  But, from time to time, she still brings up an incident a couple of years ago when I told a clerk that “was the worst red velvet cupcake, I have ever had”.  The fact that it was true and that the woman did ask me how everything was, doesn’t seem to resonate with my child.

I mean the thing practically exploded into a cloud of dust upon the impact of my fork.  I left the crumbly pile under its dome of slimy icing on the plate.  But, I digress…

So, I think I have demonstrated that I don’t always take Cowboy Bob’s advice.  But, I also recognize that chastising her about the cupcake was probably not the kindest thing to do and I want Cowboy Bob to be proud.

Since, I can be a little, um, sharp-tongued, during this Simple Year, I have been consciously trying to be nicer and refrain from comment in situations like these.  That should be simple enough, right?

I had my first opportunity to test that theory last week.

I had joined a group of women to run around a lake at a local park. It was a stellar crisp Alaskan Fall morning, perfect for a bit of camaraderie and exercise.  A non-runner friend of ours had even brought her kayak and was leisurely paddling around the lake.

It was a good moment right up until the time, the runners noticed a woman gesticulating dramatically to our friend out on the lake.  At a distance, it seemed that the older woman was just an animated talker, or maybe performing an impromptu kabuki dance.  But, as we got closer, a shrill voice cut through the morning with phrases like, “If I don’t speak for the birds, who will”?  “You go away”.   When we actually arrived on the scene, it was clear that the woman was unhappy.  She even turned to enlist our group’s support of her tirade.  She shrieked many words in several variations about how the kayak was disturbing the birds. We later learned she had been following my friend along the water’s edge berating her for some time (it is clear she doesn’t know Cowboy Bob).  My friend had at first tried to politely reply and finally just ignored her which was actually making her angrier.

Now, this is where I should point out to you that the lake is actually a man-made lagoon and is indeed part of a larger bird sanctuary.  But, it has a small dock specifically for kayaks and canoes and is a city maintained ice skating rink in the winter.  It is designed for people to commune with nature.

I have to admit, I immediately got all bowed up and angry and prepared to ARGUE with the woman whose face had long ago wrinkled into creases of permanent disapproval and whose sunhat pulled over a parka hood was in danger of being flung off in her fury.

But instead, I held myself in check and tried to tone it down.  I tried to reason with her and mention that we could share.

That didn’t go over well.   The other members of my group seemed to be equal parts incredulous and quiet fury over the incident.

So, I took a breath, forced a too-big smile and called, “Have a nice day”, a couple of times and even accompanied it with a wave of my whole hand, not just my middle finger.

So, while that incident was not a kind act, it was the ABSENCE of an unkind act and I am totally hoping I get credit for it.

Later that same morning. As you can see, the birds are terrified.