Day 21
Can you imagine a future anthropologist looking back at the 21st century American middle class birthday traditions? Will they be able to determine the exact moment in time that a birthday went from just saying “congrats you didn’t get scarlet fever and die this year,” to a wrapped Lite-Brite and a cake with ice cream. And then, will they chart the evolution to these over-the-top themed birthday parties with not only a mountain of gifts for the recipient but gifts for the party-goers to take home as well?
I am not really one to talk here, traditionally, my kids start obsessing about “next year’s birthday party” on the evening of their current birthday. This year was no exception and this weekend my oldest turned nine.
Before The Simple Year, I told her we could have a Harry Potter themed birthday party. I researched online and saw a link about one mother who delivered invitations on scrolls via owls. When I read the article, the owl was actually a hand puppet, which I thought was false advertising, but still, given our current situation, it was going to be hard to stack up.
So, my solution was to go all inclusive at one of those loud, sticky, ticket-spitting game halls. I did, however bring a Harry Potter cake, so we’ll call it a compromise. I paid an obscene amount of money for about 18 kids to eat an unhealthy meal and then go try to throw it up on a couple of spinning rides. I figured I wasn’t actually buying any THING, just a service. That’s OK, right?
Over the years, I have seen a few kid party invites that state, NO GIFTS, and I have admired that. But, I’ll be honest, in the past; I didn’t want to “disappoint” my kids. This year, Kayla and I talked and I suggested that the invitation read, “no gifts were necessary, but if you would like to bring a book that you have already read and are ready to pass along, that would be appreciated.” She thought about it for a minute and finally said, “Well, you can put, No gifts necessary, but can you leave the part about the book off?”
Fine
And, do you know what? It was fine. She had a great day and we didn’t have to haul a bunch of things home for intermediary storage between China and the landfill.
I really was worried about it, yet she truly doesn’t seem to mind. She did get some gifts from us and other family members, a refurbished camera, second hand books, a recorder and a gift certificate for a painting class.
And when she went to bed, she seemed just as happy at the end of the day as she did last year when she got a stack of presents.
And I do thank u for not sending my kid home with a goody bag of junk. She earned her own at the ticket spitting games!!! But everyone seemed to have a good time with no mention of no gifts or goody bags. You did good!!!
A couple of years ago, I threw a HP party for my now 10-year-old. It was “a class at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry” and invitation were “acceptance letters”. Pre-made sorting hat with an old costume witches hat, burlap strips, googly eyes, and some imagination in the form of a baby monitor and my husband in another room doing voice. For potions, I used old baby jars filled with things we had around the house (food coloring, cookie sprinkles, pickle juice, etc.) and a list of things found on the web. They had a wand-choosing ceremony, where I collected appropriately sized branches dipped in homemade glitter glue. Spell casting, used with a list of said wands and list of spells from the books. Much more, but I can say it was the cheapest and coolest party ever…one that many won’t forget. It can be done. If you ever need to do another HP party, contact me. I was THE mom in all of 2nd grade some time afterward 🙂 These things are easy to do with a little research and a lot of imagination…
Who is Debbi and can I hate her?
🙂 Sorry. I’m really not as creative as I play it, I promise!
Everything has gotten so over the top. I for one always boycott party favors. I mean, the last party we had I spent more on the favors than on the rest of the party! Isn’t the free cake, ice cream, games, and fun reward enough for dragging yourself to someone’s party? Commercialism has gotten so out of hand.
I’m not sure when having ice cream and Birthday cake at home with your family escalated to the “Battle of the Extravagant Party Planning Moms” but, I am glad the battle is over for you….or is it? The name of your blog is A Simple Year, not A Simple Life and besides, Debbi (see above) has thrown down the party gauntlet in being so creative and thrifty.
Well truth be told, I did go overboard creatively but remained fiscally conservative, financially. It was easy to do, but it was necessary for us–I was still a stay at home mama and we had one income (excluding my measly freelance). I can’t take credit for making it all up–I scoured the internet for weeks in advance and then adapted the best ideas to my own needs, down to homemade Nimbus 2000s made from fallen tree branches as their party favor. It was easier for a small party of seven or eight, not twenty. I am, however, proud to say we’ve never had a kid’s birthday party outside the home, which is apparently all the rage now. As a working mom, I couldn’t plan one at home now. So I cleverly convinced my now 8- and 10-year-old boys that they don’t need big birthday parties any longer–wouldn’t it be more fun to take a pal to Kings Island for the day or have a campout in the yard with your besties instead? It worked once, hoping it will work again this year as well.
I just had a party for my daughter who turned 4. The invitation read “your presence is her present.” She has so much stuff already and I knew she would get presents from her family — that was enough! People complied in various ways: some brought a gift anyway; most brought a card, which I personnally thought was ideal (it’s amazing how much more thought people will put into a card when they don’t have to think about a gift!); and a few didn’t bring anything at all. I did end up with party favors this year because we did a scavenger hunt that ended with a pinata. Usually the favors for her parties have been a few madeleines in a bag tied with a ribbon since her name is Madeleine.
My daughter is 12 now..Every other year we do a “real” party where she can invite 6-10 girls and they can spend the night. Fortunately for me usually only 3 or 4 actually stay all night. Because her birthday is the last week of November, in the early years she would get so many gifts right before Christmas we couldn’t figure out what to get her for Christmas. So I started writing a poem about not bringing gifts. This year it went like this…
We love gifts as much as you,
But no more stuff not even a shoe
Is needed here so now we say
If a gift you bring, we will give it away.
This is not meant to be weird or rude.
We would love to collect Toys for Tots for the Christmas
time that is just around the corner. If you bring a gift, bring
something we can donate to kids who do not have. We won’t
be keeping score. This evening is meant to be a time the girls
can just hang out and have fun.
I was so glad I did this when 2 days after the invites went out I was helping to clean out her closet and we found gifts from the year before she had never even opened. The wrapping paper was off, but the box was still sealed in plastic.
As if I didn’t love your blog enough, or the ideas you espouse, but your line “intermediary storage between China and the landfill” was priceless!
I love the Toys for Tots idea, but chances are pretty good that I wouldn’t be organized enough to get the stuff there. I’ve tried saying “no gifts” but people bring stuff anyway. What we do now is a gift exchange. Instead of a gift for the birthday girl, everyone is asked to bring a wrapped, gender-neutral gift for under $10. Then when they leave, everyone gets to pick one. (Bonus: no goody bags necessary!) Everyone wins!
I know a four-year-old that had a Frozen themed birthday party. With characters. And an ice throne. O_o
I like the no gift idea. Also gift certificates.
I’m going to have to read every post. When my daughter turned 5 I invited her whole prep class to the party. School starts here in Feb and her birthday is the 26th so she didn’t have a friend group yet. That was okay, we hired a magician $200 well spent, had simple fare of fairy bread, sausages in bread and fruit platters. I made a castle cake because my parents (who were usually in charge of epic cakes) were fighting a bushfire at the time. Blah blah blah, anyway there were no less than 25 presents, from school friends). The next year we had a no present rule, except from family. Phew. We are not hiring magicians anymore, but I have to say, that guy entertained 25 kids for 1.5 hours and made each of them a balloon toy. But I digress. I need to read the rest of these posts.
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