DAY 147
I was meeting a friend for dinner the other day and she said she needed to run to Pottery Barn Kids first to pick up a baby shower gift. Trying to be helpful, I offered a few choice pre-owned items I had tucked away.
She politely declined by saying, “Yeah, when you give people used things, you actually have a reason. I just look–cheap.”
Really, cheap? What about, environmentally conscience, frugal…thoughtful? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say I am pretty certain that babies don’t really care if their things are second hand.
I know the trend is to have more gear than less when it comes to our new offspring. I certainly felt more prepared for parenthood wrapped in a protective cocoon of Bumbos, Boppys and Baby Bjorns. Until I actually had our daughter and then I realized that no gadget on the planet could have really prepared me for what lay ahead.
I had my first child when I was 35. What that means is I had quite a few years of buying completely inappropriate baby shower gifts, like teeny tiny Harley Davidson leather jackets, 3-inch long Air Jordans and bows larger than baby’s head on stretchy bands. What is it about adult clothes in miniature that is so appealing to the childless?
I love buying baby gifts then and still do now. But, I hope I have learned a little over the years about gifting useful items. Since The Simple Year started I have been giving gently used collections of board books. Now board books don’t have quite the baby shower squeal inducing power of a minuscule tuxedo, but I believe they will get quite a bit more use, at least until Kindle comes out with a baby version.
I’ve been gathering them at garage sales and thrift stores. I find the books for about a dollar each which is not only environmentally friendly but a pretty significant monetary savings since they are usually anywhere between five and eight bucks each when new. I give them a quick wipe down with vinegar which I’m not sure does anything, but it makes me feel better. I would hate to introduce bubonic plague into any of my friend’s homes. I add a ribbon and they are good to go.
So far, I haven’t had any new moms complain. One even sent me a thank-you note that said something to the effect of “how generous I was” which means one of the following:
- She was using a form letter for her thank-you notes
- She still had post-partum pain killers in her system
- She meant generous of spirit, not generous with money which is what I prefer to believe.
A collection of eight books for a first time Mama and a found copy of Deceptively Delicious for a friend that just had her third (I LOVE ours).
Those books will get used and loved every single day for years. A tiny leather jacket? It will get worn once. For a picture. Books are the best gifts, in my opinion.
I really hope regifting will get a better reputation soon! One of my friends can’t even bring herself to say the word out loud and just mouths it, as if it is something to be ashamed of. I think it is something to be proud of, and I do it often. No one is any the wiser if the item is still in its original packaging, but the fear of appearing ‘cheap’ seems to be what prevents most people from doing it. I look forward to the day when giving a present with the odd scuff mark is no longer looked down upon!
I like to buy gently used baby t-shirts and then augment them with an iron on transfer that says “Hi! I’m new here!” or “I drink until I pass out” or “Worth The Wait”. Always gets a giggle and nobody cares if they are much softer.
Well, being the recipient of one awesome cookbook, (The one on the top with a big orange bow that my daughter has been wearing on her head for 3 days…its her first piece of dress up, and it now lives in the play room) I must say that your gifting of gently used items is FABULOUS! I’m learning how to deceive my children before they can even speak to me in full sentences…and its GOOD for them. ;o) Thank you, for an awesome gift. <3
I am not against to buy used things, but cant say i am very big fan. I think children should enjoy all the things we haven’t during our childhood, so when i can i buy something that i know it please the kid..
One of the very best presents I got when pregnant with #1 Child was a lot of second-hand baby clothes that my (then child-free) friend had picked up at some local thrift stores and yard sales. It was lovely because not only was it an extremely practical present, but it showed that my friend had devoted a lot of time to getting the clothes — she didn’t just run into Target and grab some colorful blinky toy.
I recently discovered your blog and am enjoying it immensely. Thank you for posting about your year!
That is a thoughtful present. I had a girlfriend send me a huge box of really nice maternity clothes she got at a resale store when I was pregnant with my first and they were in all kinds of sizes so they fit me all the way through the pregnancy. I would have never thought of that and it was awesome the have something I could fit my butt into in the ninth month 🙂 Thanks for the kind words BTW